How do you solve a problem like Maria?
The ubiquitous name/monicker “Maria”
has a vast history as far as my life is concerned, dating back to my elementary
days, and making me, my name actually to what it is today.
My late mother wanted a Tagalog name
for me that spells comfort and well-being. The priest, however, refused to
baptize me bearing such name because that was a Muslim name unacceptable
to the Roman Catholic church. That was what the priest said, according to my mother. And so they had to remove my second name to make the single name "Maria" more Christian-sounding.
While my baptismal certificate bears
the single name “Maria”, the Tagalog word for comfort following “Maria” was registered in my birth certificate. In our predominantly Catholic country, the
baptismal certificate is a very important and useful tool almost making it a public document
even without the notary public’s signature.
The complications of a unique name
was carried over to the time I reached Grade 4. That was when a film by the title “Ang
Alamat ni Mariang Isda” was being show in the theatres. Bullying, no matter how mild it is would hit a discordant note to us children. An
albino classmate of mine would call me “Mariang Isda! Mariang Isda!” I would sulk and would run to my teacher and
tell her about this boy pestering me by calling me such name. The teacher would
tell him to stop but the name-calling didn’t stop. It just stuck and so from
then on I decided to get rid of that embarrassing first name before my second (Tagalog) name.
Remembering it now, as an adult, I
would just laugh it off and wonder, how could that be such a big deal? And so as I grew older, I had to use that single Tagalog name during the rest of my studies, in my employment, in my bank accounts, and so on. Every now and then, each time I would apply
for an important ID, I would always be ready with an Affidavit of One and the
Same Person in case the discrepancy would be noticed. The only identification that has both names is my passport.
What’s in a (family) name?
How about an equally uniquely but
not quite wonderfully sounding family name? How it gave me another reason to
add to my list of insecurities! That was why when I got married (out of
convenience, which is another story), I thought I felt spared from another
cause for shame.
Until that funny and yet nasty family name spread by
marriage and by birth, reaching overseas and the internet, and nobody among my relatives
seemed to be ashamed of it! Now it even sounds amazingly foreign. An in-law of
mine living abroad was wondering, “Why will you be embarrassed of our family name,
do you know that my daughter in school, when asked by her teacher, surprisingly said, ‘O what a beautiful family name! Is it French?’”
Going back to “Maria”, it was like a
shadow, continuously hounding us, as I decided to affix it after the names of
my two boys! Fascinated by Italian and Spanish-sounding names, I placed a “Maria”
after the first name of my eldest son since I was thinking of such names as
Jose Maria, Gabriel Maria, etc. My third and youngest child also carries “Maria”
after his first name and luckily for me,
he rebuked me only once because people would
wonder why in the world he is carrying that name.
One time, I was thinking loud, I was
like “I wish I had only “Maria” for my name, it would sound lovely for me. Overhearing
my thoughts, my eldest son quipped, “I wish I never had the name “Maria,” it’s
such a ridiculous idea, a boy being called by such name.”
