poetry

panacea
by mariamaqui

the  answer to that

inevitable  calling

is your presence which

was worth the waiting.

wondrous presence,

exhilarating, invigorating;

real essence,

love and service abounding.

the  horizon,

limitless  is its boundaries,

the  future,

pregnant with positive possibilities.

another day is dawning

and dreams are near fulfilling;

yesterday no cure was in sight

but now you're here to make things right.

poetry by maria maqui

i.  point of no return 

a thousand veils, a thousand faces,

left in a daze in a thousand mazes;

drawn to a throne of high-falutin rhetoric

which is nothing but hysterical histrionics.

guised, disguised, like actors in a play,

who is fake? who is real? who am I to say?

best foot forward seeking its own reward,

how am I to know? how am I to guard?

dazzled, bedazzled, but all was falsity;

duplicity, incongruity actually in reality.

gullibility, vulnerability, how could you be so blind?

i've been taken for a ride, putting me in a bind.

is there a place to go, is there a place to escape

where tears shall no more flow, and hearts shall never break?

is there a way to leave, is there a way to mourn

my wasted sensibilities from this point of no return?

ii.  a mouthful of bullets

a mouthful of bullets

right from the pit,

aimed at an enemy,

vengeance is sweet.

mouth of filth,

questionable intentions,

whence were they coming?

from the pulpit.

the high and mighty

( who isn’t God)

keeps on kicking,

burying the fallen

into the deep.

eyes blazing, voice thundering,

reverberating, ear-splitting,

nerve-wracking, mind-boggling,

but my spirit never breaking.

you can blow me up to smithereens

but never again can you enter in;

you can lift your gods to your pedestal,

i never knew you, whoever you are.

my batangas

you were destined to be the city

of my birth and of my youth;

in your bosom it was a pattern of

hopeless search for answers and

meaning and purpose and

that elusive glorious Truth.

you were the milieu to

every joy and every pain,

every triumph and every loss,

every laughter and every tear,

every rejection and every acceptance

from people i held dear.

on your soil i learned precious lessons

on loving and being loved,

on giving and receiving,

on rising and falling,

on finding and losing,

on living and dying.

you were the city of my

thousand dreams unfulfilled,

my hopes shattered and yet

deep within, promises persisting,

deep within, my heart joyously

waiting for their fulfilling.

hello... goodbye,

my batangas, for a while;

life goes on, let time fly.

goodbye... hello,

who knows whatever God wills

for today or the morrow?

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

The ubiquitous name/monicker “Maria” has a vast history as far as my life is concerned, dating back to my elementary days, and making me, my name actually to what it is today.

My late mother wanted a Tagalog name for me that spells comfort and well-being. The priest, however, refused to baptize me bearing such name because that was a Muslim name unacceptable to the Roman Catholic church. That was what the priest said, according to my mother. And so they had to remove my second name to make the single name "Maria" more Christian-sounding.

While my baptismal certificate bears the single name “Maria”, the Tagalog word for comfort following “Maria” was registered in my birth certificate. In our predominantly Catholic country, the baptismal certificate is a very important and useful tool almost making it a public document even without the notary public’s signature.

The complications of a unique name was carried over to the time I reached Grade 4. That was when a film by the title “Ang Alamat ni Mariang Isda” was being show in the theatres. Bullying, no matter how mild it is would  hit a discordant note to us children. An albino classmate of mine would call me “Mariang Isda! Mariang Isda!”  I would sulk and would run to my teacher and tell her about this boy pestering me by calling me such name. The teacher would tell him to stop but the name-calling didn’t stop. It just stuck and so from then on I decided to get rid of that embarrassing first name before my second (Tagalog) name.

Remembering it now, as an adult, I would just laugh it off and wonder, how could that be such a big deal? And so as I grew older, I had to use that single Tagalog name during the rest of my studies, in my employment, in my bank accounts, and so on. Every now and then, each time I would apply for an important ID, I would always be ready with an Affidavit of One and the Same Person in case the discrepancy would be noticed. The only identification that has both names is my passport.

 What’s in a (family) name?

How about an equally uniquely but not quite wonderfully sounding family name? How it gave me another reason to add to my list of insecurities! That was why when I got married (out of convenience, which is another story), I thought I felt spared from another cause for shame.

Until that funny and yet nasty family name spread by marriage and by birth, reaching overseas and the internet, and nobody among my relatives seemed to be ashamed of it! Now it even sounds amazingly foreign. An in-law of mine living abroad was wondering, “Why will you be embarrassed of our family name, do you know that my daughter in school, when asked by her teacher, surprisingly said, ‘O what a beautiful family name! Is it French?’”

Going back to “Maria”, it was like a shadow, continuously hounding us, as I decided to affix it after the names of my two boys! Fascinated by Italian and Spanish-sounding names, I placed a “Maria” after the first name of my eldest son since I was thinking of such names as Jose Maria, Gabriel Maria, etc. My third and youngest child also carries “Maria” after  his first name and luckily for me, he rebuked me only once because people would wonder why in the world he is carrying that name.

One time, I was thinking loud, I was like “I wish I had only “Maria” for my name, it would sound lovely for me. Overhearing my thoughts, my eldest son quipped, “I wish I never had the name “Maria,” it’s such a ridiculous idea, a boy being called by such name.”

nuggets of thoughts

The Old (biblical) Spirituality and the New (unbiblical) Spirituality

The old spirituality teaches that man is totally depraved and he needs to repent (Romans 3:10; Romans 3:23; Matthew 3:2; Luke 5:32; Luke 13:3/5; 1 John 1:9)). Only through the precious blood of Christ shall he be cleansed from his sins (1 John 1:7; Hebrews 9:11-28).  Jesus died on the cross for His own that they will be redeemed and justified and be free from the fires of eternal hell (John 3:16).

The old spirituality teaches that salvation comes only to those who receive Jesus Christ by faith, through the grace of God, and not through good works so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9).  


The old spirituality teaches that there are only two commandments: love God above all (Deuteronomy 6:5) and love others as yourself (Leviticus 19:18). There is no commandment to love oneself for we already love ourselves (Ephesians 5:29).  On the contrary, Christ tells us to deny ourselves (Luke 9:23).  The Apostle Paul in his second letter to Timothy, admonishes him to avoid people who will be lovers of self in the last days (2 Timothy 3:2).

The old spirituality teaches that Jesus Christ alone is the Way to the Father (John 14:6) and there is no other.  The Almighty God is Spirit and He is in Heaven and He is to be worshipped in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

The new spirituality says that there is a divinity inside of every man that makes him at par with God.

The new spirituality also says that man should love himself first in order to be able to love others.  He should learn to forgive himself whenever he commits a sin for him to find peace.

The new spirituality accepts the belief that all roads lead to God; that one can worship God through different manners, images and representations, that God is the god of the other religions, Christian or otherwise.

The new spirituality says that Jesus Christ died for all, that faith alone doesn’t save but should be accompanied by acts of benevolence.

Offense

A Christian who has departed from the false religion of his birth to become a born-again believer oftentimes feels the repulsion or rejection of his own family and of those whom he considers his friends.  He has become an offense to the people he grew up with, or people he got acquainted with along the way.  These are the people who never really knew the Word of God, Jesus of the Bible, for they are not encouraged to read the Bible, in its pure and undiluted version. These are the people who were not taught the doctrine of man’s total depravity and his need for repentance; that by God’s sovereign grace, faith is instilled in the believer to accept Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour and Lord. They will ask him, “Why, what happened to you?” as if he has just committed a spiritual blunder or has suddenly become a religious infidel. 

1 Corinthians 1:¹⁸ "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish, foolishness; but unto us which are saved, it is the power of God."

“If you are true Christians, you will not have the love of worldlings; you cannot have it. They will be sure to ridicule you and call you fools or hypocrites or something equally uncomplimentary. Well, then, cling the more closely to one another.”   Charles Spurgeon, At the Master’s Feet

Loss of love

One of the greatest tragedies of life is the loss of someone we love.   Separation because of death, sickness, misunderstanding, unforgiveness, or indifference, more than anything else breaks the heart that loves purely and completely. One deals with a different kind of grief in this kind of loss.  Healing takes time but just the same, healing takes place.  For the believer, there is no wound that God doesn’t heal.

Chastisement

God doesn’t allow His children to stay fallen in a life of folly and sinfulness.  He is the Heavenly Father who chastens His own for their sanctification, His will and purpose for them.  For every sin or disobedience, there is a corresponding punishment and discipline.  Chastisement is painful; it is not an enjoyable thing to be chastised, but it is necessary.  Like a bitter pill to be swallowed, like the physical pain a doctor has to inflict on the patient, chastisement is needed to heal the sick, to sanctify the sinner, to conform him to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

 “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”  Hebrews 12:6

The Solid Rock 
Edward Mote, 1834, alt.
William B. Bradbury, 1863

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace.
In ev'ry high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the vale.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.

His oath, His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound, oh, may I then in Him be found:
Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
  

" For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.  He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.”

Psalm 62:1-2

nuggets of thoughts

Measurement 

Academic excellence or superior knowledge or high educational attainment should not be the basis the goodness of a person is measured.  Professional or material success is not the pinnacle of a person’s achievement.  It is the godly character, moral integrity or the spiritual wisdom one possesses as a Christian that a person is fondly regarded or remembered for. 

Real friend or faux ami

It takes years in order to find the genuineness of a true friend.  It takes tests and trials to discover whether one is a true friend or un faux ami (a false friend).

In friendship, titles are stripped, everyone is equal; no one is superior over the other; the bond is based on love and respect.    

Pain in the neck

Some of these are friends/relatives/neighbors who have the habit of borrowing money but tenaciously refuse to return it at the promised period.  Some borrow because of poverty, or for emergency reasons; others for business purposes.  Some have the capacity to pay; others don’t have.  It’s just that there are those who are shamelessly stubborn or unwilling to pay, or have no word of honor at all.  

There are people who live on borrowing, whose lifestyle revolves around borrowing, living beyond their means, but fail to fulfill their obligations because of the mountainous debts that have accumulated by their constant borrowing.

“Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”  Romans 8:13

The heart’s affections

I like this one from  http://www.puritanboard.com/f15/dr-peter-masters-dr-john-piper-495/:

“… The challenge of biblical sanctification is that it is first at the level of the soul and the affections.

Where does your heart and affections run where you are alone? Do you love to come and commune with Christ by faith? Is Christ glorious and precious to your inner man? …”

The lonely Christian

Emotions are dangerous especially if they are left unguarded.  Even a Christian suffers from emotions that are not the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  A feeling of desolation, abandonment and despair will make a lonely Christian an easy prey to the wrong people, or people of unbiblical “Christian” persuasion.  If the Christian is raised or is deeply rooted in a doctrinally sound church, he will persevere and not be swayed.  Above all, if he constantly clings to God through His Word in every predicament then God’s loving protection and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit shall be his armour in this spiritual and emotional battle.

 

That is why the lonely Christian longs for the company of people of his faith.  The brethren and especially the leaders of the church should therefore be perpetually guarding the flock before the sheep loses its way and walks along the precipice.

Righteousness

“Blessed (truly happy) are they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness – not after happiness.  Do not go on seeking thrills; seek righteousness.

Seek for happiness and you will never find it, seek righteousness and you will discover you are happy – it will be there without your knowing it, without your seeking it.

Do you want to know supreme joy? Do you want to experience a happiness that eludes description?  There is only one thing to do, really seek Him, seek Him Himself, turn to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.”

-Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression

Solus Christus

Jesus Christ alone is the source of salvation.  The blood He shed and nothing else cleanses the sinner from his sin. Jesus Christ alone through His death on the cross paid for the sinner’s sin-debt, imputing on the sinner God’s righteousness, justifying him, saving him from eternal damnation.

“Let me put it plainly, I will not make my boast, I will not glory, even in my orthodoxy, for even that can be a snare if I make a god of it.  I will glory only in that Blessed Person Himself by whom this great thing has been done, with whom I died, with whom I have been buried, with whom I am dead to sin and alive unto God, with whom I have risen, with whom I am seated in the heavenly places, by whom and by whom alone the world is crucified unto me and I am crucified unto the world.  Anything that wants to come into the centre instead of Him, anything that wants to add itself on to Him, I shall reject. Knowing the apostolic message concerning Jesus Christ in all its directness, its simplicity and its glory, God forbid that anyone of us should add anything to it.  Let us rejoice in Him in all His fullness and in Him alone.”

-Dr. Martyn Lloyed-Jones, Spiritual Depression

Poetry

 Goodbye
by maria maqui

Good bye is a lonely word;

It strikes a lonely cord.

But it resonates with freedom;

It liberates the heart

From its wrong affections.

nuggets of thoughts

Dark Nights

When dark nights haunt you, go to Jesus.  He alone comforts, knows our needs, what’s good for us.  Do not go around in circles:  read the Word of God, find solace in Him.

The Truth

The Christian is not a searcher of truth but a proclaimer of the Truth, since he has found the Truth in Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God.  Other “truths” that proclaim otherwise are not truths but lies.

Good Works

Kindness, generosity, charity, and other good works are either works of the flesh or works of the Spirit.

Man generally does good works to please himself, to boost his self-esteem, to feel good.  This kind of benevolence is the fruit of the flesh.  It aims not to please God.  This kind of good works therefore does not count to God.  "But we are all are as unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags..." Isaiah 64:6.

A Christian does good works because he loves God.  Loving others is God’s command and so he follows him by loving others, for it is impossible to love God without following His command.  His good works thus become the fruits of the Spirit.  He helps others and shows acts of kindness because he loves God and wants to please God, not himself.

Rewarder

God is the rewarder, not man.  The natural man is basically self-centered.  He wants to receive rather than give.  

The Christian who gives does not expect returns or rewards from man.  He gives to glorify his God.  God in return blesses in manifold forms.  He uses man or circumstances  to show His pleasure to His children.  

 

Irony

There are times when the people we love and who are true to us are those who do not know Jesus Christ of the Bible.  In other words, they are those who practice a different kind of Christianity or spirituality.  They are either unbelievers or do not have God at all.

And so we grieve over the fact that these people close to our hearts shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.  However, we do not lose hope, because as long as we live and these people are alive, we continue to pray for them, that one day God will change their hearts.

Knowing God First

The first service a Christian can give others is to tell them of the Gospel of Christ.  Man has to know of his total depravity, his need to repent of his sins, and his need for a Savior.  The Christian has to tell him who God is in the Person of Jesus Christ.  Modern teachings will help us find the answer to the question “Who am I?”  The Christian should teach man the answer to the question “Who is God?”

In knowing God through Jesus Christ, man will know himself, find the meaning to life and the ways by which he should live his life.  Jesus Christ is revealed only through the written Word of God, the Bible.

Impact

Those that create an impact in our lives are people who are there for us when we are sick.  It is in period of sickness that we feel lonely and think of the loved ones that are not with us, those who are not around anymore or those who live in far places.  And so people who show their love or kindness by being with us during sickness are the ones who touch us the most.

Poetry

Alienated
by maria maqui

Two worlds alienated;

Separate, distinct, dissociated;

One loving, reaching, but empty-handed;

The other the object, the subject, the dearly beloved.