Faux Ami, Faux Amour

A heartbreak, heartache, treachery, betrayal, deception, infidelity, backstabbing, and the like can be handled by viewing things in perspective. The victim can dissociate himself/herself from the situation and start to take the role not of the insider looking out but as an outsider looking in. One must know first and foremost the sovereignty of God in all things, that He is the Father who cares for His children, who blesses them and chastises them if necessary. Secondly, is the undeniable fact of man’s depravity: that man is a corrupt being, a self-centered being who will love himself first before others.

Is the culprit a believer? A regenerate? If he is not, then trusting him completely has been a serious mistake. He belongs to the kind who seduces, who fakes his character, who cheats, lies, who thoughtlessly  turns his back and accountability on people. He has no qualms about hurting his friends just to satisfy his whims.

If the offender happens to be a believer or a God-loving/God-fearing man, he won’t allow this to happen. He will be willing to face his wrongdoing, talk about it, settle it out, and ask for forgiveness. He doesn’t burn his bridges. If ending is inevitable, he will say a proper goodbye.

Lack of wisdom in trusting people no matter how kindly they treat us at the start may  lead us to a thousand regrets. Loving them blindly because we are lonely is not the most prudent and reasonable thing to do. One must be wise to distinguish the fraud from the real; people wear masks most of the time. The spirit of wickedness hovers around to devour the simple, the gullible, and the vulnerable. We must always fellowship with our fellow believers or brethren in the faith but our only purpose in reaching out to the unsaved is to bring Christ to them.

The Lord reproves and rebukes whom He loves. He will never allow us to be entangled with that which will snatch us from the palm of His Hand. He will never allow us to wander off forever and plunge into the ravine of perdition. This is the beauty of being God’s child. He allows us to fall and be wounded for our own good but lifts us up afterwards and heals us; when we repent He forgives us.

Being rational and logical in all this will save us from wasted tears, sleepless nights, and endless remorse.  What is important is that the experience did not leave us bitter or hateful or desolate or hopeless. Instead, it has taught us another of life’s hard lessons.

Finally, it should bring us to the realization that it is only Jesus Christ Who will fulfill the desires of our hearts. He is the One True Friend that we have, Who will never leave us nor forsake us. While He allows us to meet people who will deceive us, leave us, or hurt us, He will also bring people who will sincerely love us and stay with us until the end.

“A false friend-- is worse than an open enemy.” William Secker

“The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.” Psalm 55:21

“No friend in the world is so constant and unchangeable in friendship as Christ is. John 13:1: ‘…having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.’ He bears with millions of provocations and wrongs, and yet will not break friendship with His people. Peter denied Him, yet will not disown him; but after His resurrection He says, ‘Go, tell the disciples, and tell Peter. Let him not think he has forfeited by that sin of his, his interest in Me. Though he denied Me, I will not disown him ‘(Mark 16:7). O how lovely is Christ in the relation of a friend!” John Flavel